Ukrainian Hamfest Leaves Volunteers Pondering Food

By WBØRUR, on the scene

KIEV, Ukraine – Members of the local ham radio club have found themselves in a bit of a маринувати (i.e., pickle) over the food to offer at the group’s upcoming шинка свято (hamfest), concession booth.

YL ham operator Olga Floyzinski insists on studenetz – aspic made with fish (zalyvne) – or meat (kholodets). But after the gastro-intestinal incident of the 2007 шинка свято (hamfest), others are reluctant to serve the traditional Ukrainian dish. City fathers still remark at the outbreak of stomach troubles, which put a strain on the city’s sewage infrastructure.

Early favorites to replace the studenetz are 1) deruny (potato pancakes), usually served with rich servings of sour cream; or 2) syrnyky (cottage cheese fritters), sometimes with raisins, served with sour cream and jam. There is no question, apparently, that sour cream WILL be served.

The traditional favorite of “Chicken Kiev” was considered, but voted down by the assemblage as “way too damn common around here, it’s on every street corner and in every alleyway and the tourists always make jokes about it at our restaurants and we’re sick and tired of it so why would we want to it!?”

Club President Boris Feder says some club members are reluctant to serve such messy dishes while patrons are flipping switches and/or turning dials on “for sale” radio equipment.

“Hams are not known for cleanliness,” he says. (Note: this was loosely translated from the Ukrainian language and we only assume this is what he said.)

шинка свято (hamfest) Chairman Mykhalo Vira adds that he wants this whole controversy to go away and is hoping that золотий загін для худоби ресторан (Golden Corral Restaurant) opens a Ukrainian location quickly and that they have “all you eat borscht on Friday night.”

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