St. Patrick’s Day Special Event Runs Out of Luck

By K5KVN, on the scene

BOSTON, Mass. — A Saint Patrick’s Day special event station shut down early after several misfortunes forced club members to cease operations before making a single contact.

The Boston Enthusiasts of Engineering and Radio (BEER) Club was excited to put K1I on the air.

“We put a lot of planning into this, but the alcohol factor wasn’t taken into consideration when it came to executing the set up,” said club president Sam Smith.

“First off, Fernando, our technical officer, who consumed several pints of Guinness by 8 a.m., spent three hours trying to hang the dipole into the shape of a shamrock. We kept telling him that the radiation pattern would be unacceptable but he wouldn’t listen,” said Smith. Other club members resorted to setting up another antenna while Fernando continued his unsuccessful attempt.

Meanwhile, club members say things came to blows when one intoxicated member was asked to turn down his car stereo, which was blasting U2 songs during set up. “They’re an Irish band!” explained Landon Garfunkle, the car’s owner.

Alcohol was certainly one problem, but Smith says tainted food was the final straw.

“We all know that hams aren’t the most hygenic bunch. And as it turned out, the corned beef and cabbage that Agatha cooked led to some stomach issues,” said Smith. Police records show that park officials have asked the club to pay for the cleanup of two porta-potties at the park.

Three members of the radio club were cited by police for public intoxication. In a striking coincidence, the operators were using a beverage antenna.

### hamhijinks.com

photo credit: Michael D. Dunn via photopin cc