Police Report: Disturbance At Golden Corral
Police blotter, compiled by WBØRUR
POINT OF DESPAIR, Montana – Local police responded to a disturbance last Monday at the Golden Corral Restaurant, 421 E Commercial Street, downtown Portsmouth. A complainant tells officers during a meeting of the Gold Diggers Amateur Radio Club, club member Junior Brown got into a fistfight with former club president Lou Rodden.
According to witnesses, Brown repeatedly turned off the AC power to the chocolate fountain each time Rodden approached – much to the amusement of other club members.
STATEMENT #1 – FROM LOU RODDEN: “Each time I approached, the <expletive> fountain would shut off! After 17 times, I’d had enough and was looking for the manager. Then I discovered that no-good LID Junior Brown was responsible. Oh, I’ll teach him a lesson one day, you can count on that!”
STATEMENT #2 – FROM RESTAURANT MANAGER WES CANTRELL: “Mr Rodden became visibly upset after his last trip to the chocolate fountain. We work hard to make each customer’s experience here at The Golden Corral a positive experience. For example, we recently added beef tongue to the menu because of customer requests. You can imagine how horrified I was when the chocolate fountain began to circulate intermittently.”
STATEMENT #3 – FROM JUNIOR BROWN: “That lazy bureaucrat Rodden thinks he can saunter up to the fountain and take a dip anytime he wants. And what’s worse, he puts his whole hand into the flow…up to the second knuckle. Nobody wants to eat the chocolate after he pulls those types of stunts. So, I guess I was messin’ with him a little bit and the guys noticed and we just kept on and kept on. He finally figured it out!”
Police say manager Cantrell called authorities when Rodden and Brown began trading blows with each other in the dessert section, knocking over the soft serve ice cream maker and scattering a plate of chocolate chip cookies on other diners.
Investigators later discovered that Brown was manipulating the chocolate fountain with a dongle device controlled via Bluetooth, which not only actuates the AC supply but also posts the chocolate levels to ACLog and various social media websites like Facebook and Twitter.
Both men were released on their own recognizance with only a $25 citation issued.
photo credit: Police Line / Police Tape via photopin (license)