By WBØRUR, on the scene
WELLSBURG, Missouri – In the wake of overwhelming sales response to the recently introduced “Peanut Whistle 250” transmitter and the “Gary Coleman QSO Machine,” amateur radio equipment manufacturer “Peanut Whistle Inc.” is announcing a new line of ham radio station accessories designed to enhance your operating experience.
“Our new equipment is designed to satisfy a unique ham radio need,” says Erastus Pflemming, Director of Peanut Whistle marketing. “We realize there may be times you want to transmit – but don’t want to make QSOs.”
Peanut Whistle will unveil the “Mother-In-Law’s Voice Box” at the upcoming Radio Consumer Device Show in Las Vegas, Nevada. (RCDS is the largest gathering of niche technology providers in the United States.)
The “Mother-In-Law’s Voice Box” seamlessly integrates with your transceiver’s audio connections and transmits randomly generated pronouncements of QRM. “We’re really taking the idea of a voice-keyer to the next level,” says company president Macy Blixton. “If you’re listening to a DX pileup with hundreds of stations calling, you may at first be puzzled about how to join in. Now, you can participate in the chaos and QRM with nothing more than the push of a silky-smooth momentary switch.”
Operated by a 10-key remote control pad, the base unit comes supplied with 25 pre-recorded audio messages – recorded by top industry voiceover talent – ranging from profane to simply irritating.
A sample of the 25 included messages:
- “HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO”
- “YOU ARE A SON OF A #@%&!”
- RANDOM WHISTLING
- THE ENTIRE PREAMBLE TO THE U.S. CONSTITUTION (Read by Hal Holbrook)
For a limited time, the company is including “The 1970’s: Slang” voice module on the first 100 units sold. This provides the user 10 additional pre-recorded messages ranging from J.J. Walker’s “DY-NO-MITE!” to former President Richard Nixon stating “I AM NOT A CROOK.”
“While not profane, they remain very annoying and a GREAT source of QRM,” says Blixton. Pflemming expects the “Mother In Law’s Voice Box” to be in high demand. Adding, “the device has been beta-tested for several months on 14.313 MHz with great success.”
(Editor’s Note: The Mother-In-Law’s Voice Box may be ordered from your favorite ham radio retailer; M.S.R.P $149.99. After the introductory offer has expired, you may order the 1970’s Slang module as a $25 option. DON’T BE A JIVE TURKEY! ORDER TODAY!)