Ham Discovers DX Is Working Split; Quits Hobby

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By WBØRUR, on the scene

BROWBEEKEN, Vermont — “Shocking!” That’s how Green Mountain state ham radio operator Flip Smithson describes his most recent DX pileup. “It’s beyond belief! After all this time…and NOW THIS!”

It's back to beekeeping for Flip Smithson

It’s back to beekeeping for Flip Smithson

Smithson, a local innkeeper who operates his ham radio device to pass the time during long New England winters, was startled and shaken Sunday as he attempted to make contact with a station in Senegal.

“I tuned up the rig and moved over to the pileup frequency. Oh, I listened for a moment or two. I heard a lot of other hams trying to work the station, so I gave out a call, too.”

It was only then that Smithson realized that something was terribly, terribly wrong with his plan.

“I immediately began to hear tens of other hams transmitting ‘He’s working SPLIT!!’ ‘He’s up 5 you knucklehead!’ There were cat-calls, jeers and all types of rude comments! It was downright embarrassing. One ham with a strong northwestern accident suggested that I purchase a receiver.”

So upset over his split versus simplex mistake, Smithson has vowed to sell his ham radio equipment, tear down his antennas and focus on his first loves: maple syrup and beekeeping.

“Trees and bees don’t have any idea about split VFO operation,” he says. “And they don’t yell at you when you accidentally snap a limb or step on one of them.”

Truer words were never said. Smithson’s syrups and honeys are available at his inn Monday-Friday.

### www.hamhijjinks.com


  • Dick

    Don't know if this is a gag or not but I am pretty disgusted with split frequency operation myself, especially on cw short-frequency bands such as 17/30M. A dozen so-called DXpeditions all operating split, not to mention run-of-the-mill DX sending "UP". Bee-keeping at least contributes something to the environment.

  • Thanks for your comment, Dick. My understanding is that Flip Smithson is now trying to figure out a way to load up his bee hive on 80 meters and will return to the air as soon as the Benadryl reduces the bee sting swelling.

  • Who invented split VFO operation anyway? KISS?
    Wish Flip good luck with his bees, I like his syrups and am crazy about the honey!
    73, Bas

  • Rob M0VFC

    To those making serious comments on this: please, before you do, try operating with 100W in a top-100-most-wanted DXCC simplex after being spotted on the cluster.
    I guarantee you, you'll see why you need split very quickly! 🙂

    • Lee Root

      I wasn’t saying anything bad about split operation, but I did comment strongly about the unprofessional manner in which the guy was treated.

  • Bob K0NR

    I think it is completely unfair to expect radio amateurs to operate two VFOs at once, just to work DX. I'll be working on an FCC filing to require simplex operation (within a specified frequency tolerance) on all contacts below 29 MHz. Obviously, split operation will still be allowed on repeaters.

  • KB3MKK

    I can understand the possible need for split operation, but to embarrass the man to the point of making him quit was totally unprofessional and completely uncalled for, and anybody out there who was involved in this horrendous act should unplug their own rigs for being such jerks to someone who wanted to join in on the action. There is no room in this hobby for such behavior. In fact it goes against everything my father taught me about Amateur radio. Sounded to me like a bunch of has been CBers that forgot which type of radio they were operating. Shame on you

  • WB0RUR

    Update: The FCC is now investigating Smithson for using amateur radio for business purposes. It seems that his "Beekeepers' Net" on 80 meters was only a front for an HF infomerical. Such a sad ending to this story. Let it be a lesson to us all.

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