Boat Anchor Body Building Gaining Popularity
By K5KAC, on the scene
WICHIITA FALLS, Texas — A new workout craze is sweeping shacks from DX land to the United States: Boat Anchor Body Building, or “BABB” as abbreviated in online forums. The workout’s originator, Reg Gains of Wichita Falls, Texas, is quickly gaining a cult-like following.
“I decided I would share my secret with the world. I posted my transformation photos to my QRZ page, and I got bombarded with emails.” Gains says that he woke up one morning and didn’t like what he saw in the mirror. “Frustrated, I walked into the shack and picked up an old HTX 202 and started curling. It all took off from there,” he said.
Gains now squats two Hammarlund SP-600 Super-Pro receivers and notes improved vigor and confidence. “Let’s face it. It’s a sedentary hobby, and we all have extra equipment laying around. Pick up that old Azden PCS-4000 and lift it over your head a few dozen times. You’ll feel better, I promise.”
67-year-old Bill Schmitz is a disciple of BABB. “I wanted that Gordo look, and I knew I could attain it,” said Schmitz as he rigged a length of RG8X through a pulley in his shack ceiling and connected the PL 259 to the back of a modified Hallicrafters SX-73. When asked whether his XYL minded all the disarray in the shack, he winked, flexed, and quickly answered, “Not at all.”
Gains is currently crafting a beginner’s routine to ease new hams into his functional strength plan. Titled “From HTs to HWs,” the program is meant to slowly build strength. The template can be purchased for $14.99 and comes with his “QRN Signal Boosters” all-natural supplements (active ingredient: Black Coffee).